One of the funniest reviews I ever read in the internet was the following: Rock Hard Festival 2003

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Als um 19:20 Uhr KREATOR die Bühne betreten, wird erst einmal das gesamte Amphitheater einschließlich Himmel in roten Rauch gehüllt, so dass für ein paar Augenblicke niemand mehr etwas sehen kann. Beißender Schwefelgestank liegt in der Luft. Mitten im roten Nebel setzt “Violent Revolution” die Maschine in Gang. Die Menge tobt, sieht aber nichts. Nachdem ich mich von der Rauchattacke erholt habe und auch Jehles wiederbelebt ist, wird der Blick auf die Bühne frei. Vor über einem Jahr habe ich KREATOR das letzte mal gesehen, verlernt haben sich nichts. Gitarrist Sami (Ex-WALTARI), der auf der letzten Tour noch nicht dabei war, sieht auf der Bühne aus, als warte er hier auf den Bus, oder halte die Gitarre nur für jemand anderes, der gerade mal pinkeln gegangen ist. Dass der Junge spieltechnisch einiges auf der Pfanne hat, steht natürlich außer Frage. Mittelpunkt bei KREATOR ist und bleibt Mille. Und natürlich Ventor, der mit seinem unglaublichen Punch schon mal die Betonstufen der Ränge vibrieren lässt. Das muss ihm erst mal einer nachmachen. “Der Bassiist!”, stupst Jehles mich wiederholt an, glückselig grinsend. Bassist Christian “Speesy” Giesler post ganz groß rum und hält seinen Bass so tief, als wolle er irgend eine Bumsursel von hinten beglücken. Ganz großes Kino.
End of Quote

Link: http://www.radio-gehacktes.de/festivalsrockhard03.htm

I would be happy to translate it if only anybody could help me out, how to translate “Bumsursel” into English…..ROTFL

LOL !!!

As at 19:20 KREATOR entered the stage, once the entire amphitheater including sky is enveloped in red smoke, so for a few moments, no one can see anything. Pungent stench of sulfur in the air. Located in the red mist sets “Violent Revolution” the machine in motion. The crowd goes wild, but sees nothing. After I recovered from the attack and also smoke Jehles is revived, the view of the stage is free. Over a year ago I have seen KREATOR the last time to have forgotten nothing. Guitarist Sami (ex WALTARI), on the last tour of the still was not there, looks on stage, he’ll be here on the bus, or just keep the guitar for someone else who is just gone pee. That the boy was playing technique has a lot on the pan is, of course, no question. Center at KREATOR remains Mille. And of course, Ventor, who with his incredible punch vibrates ever the concrete steps of the ranks. The times he has only one copy. “The Bassiist!” Nudges Jehles me repeatedly, grinning happily. Bassist Christian “Speesy” Giesler post very large rum and holding his bass as deep as if to bless any Bumsursel from behind. Great cinema.

:P

Super! Thanks for this shitty translation. ;)

And now still nobody knows what exactly a “Bumsursel” is….?

Guess I´ll have to ask Speesy himself and will lmao if I see the expression on his face.

Here is my translation: I go with “Hump-Hannah” for “Bumsursel”:

When Kreator enter the stage at 7:20 p.m. first of all the entire amphitheater including the sky are veiled in red smoke, so for a few moments nobody can see anything. A pungent sulfur stench is in the air. In the middle of the red fog “Violent Revolution” is setting the machine in motion. The crowd is going wild but doesn´t see anything. After recovering from the smoke-attack and even my colleague Jehles has been revitalized, we have an unblocked view to the stage. Over a year ago I´ve seen Kreator the last time and they haven´t unlearnt anything. Guitarist Sami (Ex-Waltari) who wasn´t present yet the last time, looks on stage as if he waits for a bus or only keeps the guitar for someone else who is just gone for a pee. His playing technique is out of question though. Center of attention of Kreator is and remains Mille. And Ventor of course who can make the concrete steps of the ranks vibrate with his incredible punch. I´d like to see anyone else do that. “The bassiist!!!” yells Jehle nudging me repeatedly and grinning blissfully. Bassist Christian “Speesy” Giesler is posing around big time and holds his bass so low as if he wants to please a Hump-Hannah doggy style. Big deal!